Guest Editor

On the Ground

Usually I write this column on an airplane over some exotic place, but this time it’s on the ground in gray, damp Seattle. This spring has been unusually chilly and wet, blamed on La Niña. But I just returned from my 19^th trip to China, where Beijing has been hot and very dry. While on Hainan Island, I managed to squeeze in a sightseeing Sunday visiting Sanya. Sanya looks stunningly like Honolulu, from the mountains and beaches to the high rise condos, yachts and many tourist attractions. The tourists, however, tend to be from throughout China, and many are from Russia and Eastern Europe. To get to Sanya, I took the bullet train, but as I booked at the last minute, it was made clear to me that there were no seats available so I had to stand (the alternative was to take a train two hours later), so I did…which wasn’t so bad for an hour and a half, but consider this…..

Standing on a Plane

Standing on a train or bus is one thing, but five hours upright on a plane is something else. That’s what recently happened to six passengers on Russian carrier Tatarstan Airways flight from Antalya, Turkey to Ekaterinburg, Russia. At the last minute, a 148-seat Boeing 737 was substituted for one with only 142 places, resulting in six less seats. The  oversold customers were given a choice of taking a flight seven hours later, sitting with a lap child (but reportedly the children were too big) or standing, so that’s what they did! They flew through turbulence and had no seat belts, and demanded compensation on landing, though far more than the company was willing to pay. Maybe this airline should install straps from the overhead bins for standees, or more seriously, the regulatory authorities need to look into their safety standards. The last news on this was the latter was underway.

Kung Fu Fight…er Flight

There are often reports of disruptive passengers aboard airline flights. Hong Kong Airlines is taking steps to train its flight attendants in martial arts to provide their mostly female staff with a skill to deal with disorderly passengers or a security threat. In reality, they’re being trained in wing chun, a form of kung futhat is buy a woman for use by women and is especially suited for confined spaces. The training is optional for all staff, but mandatory for flight crew. The airline also points out that it’s also a great way to keep physically fit. A short video explaining the training can be found online: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zOb1sHlO4Zk. What is even more interesting is that Hong Kong Airlines uses the wing chun theme in its TV commercials. Here’s the 30-second Chinese version, followed immediately by the English one:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IJ_5kl6iZY&NR=1. Martial arts have been employed by sky marshals, no pun intended, but this is the first time to my knowledge that an airline has required its flight attendants to undergo this kind of training, and used it as a selling point.

Boeing 747 Finds a Home in a Waterpark

Boeing 747s have been turned into hillside homes in Los Angeles, a youth hostel in Stockholm and now one will be the centerpiece of a water park in, of all places, McMinnville, Oregon. The 350,000 pound Evergreen Airlines Boeing 747-100 (tail number N481EV for those interested) overlooks the Evergreen Aviation and Space Museum. This jumbo was first flown on September 9, 1970. It’s hard to believe the 747 is more than 40 years old! It will be in exclusive company: this is the resting place for the famous Howard Hughes-inspired Spruce Goose, as well as a variety of vintage aircraft in the museum’s collection. Plans call for four waterslides from the planes exit doors to the pool below. Opening is set for June 6, 2011. Details here: http://www.evergreenmuseum.org/

The Royal Wedding Takes to the Air

Had enough media coverage of the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton? Prior to the event, British Airways announced it would celebrate the occasion by painting six of its Boeing 747 airliner tails with portraits of William and Kate and four other members of the Royal Family: Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth, The Duke of Edinburgh, The Prince of Wales and Prince Harry. Controversially, Camilla, the Duchess of Cornwall was not included, Buckingham Palace had no comment, but British Airways explained her likeness would not grace a tail for economic reasons. A famed Norwegian artist was commissioned to do the work. Samples of the tail artwork is easily found on the internet. While taken seriously by some, the livery plan was met with horror by many, and it didn’t take long to realize that the April 1 announcement was, in fact, an April Fool’s joke. Airlines seem have gotten into the spirit of that event. There were reports that both American and Continental planned to introduce commercials before inflight announcements, easyJet reported the royal couple would be flying them for their honeymoon in Scotland, Swiss planned to hand out chocolate based on frequent flyer status and Westjet was going to add helium to their aircraft to reduce weight.

Coins Fly Lufthansa

The story may have seemed like an April Fool’s joke, but it wasn’t. A Lufthansa flight attendant, struggling to lift her heavy luggage, raised the suspicion of customs officials, and led to the discovery of a €6 million crime. Four attendants routinely carried thousands of scrap euro coins to China where they were reassembled and put back into circulation by exchanging them at the Bundesbank, Germany’s central bank. Flight crews do not have weight limits on their bags. The total amount was substantial, 29 tons in fact, since the operation occurred from 2007 to 2010. The one and two euro coins, both comprised of two different metals, were individually transported in bags in amounts below $10,000 so the carriage was technically legal, but what happened next wasn’t. There was counterfeiting involved in the coin remanufacture, and six Chinese individuals were arrested. The flight attendants did not believe they were involved in any wrongdoing.  The investigation is ongoing.

Not for Wimps

If you follow my column regularly, you know about Air New Zealand’s economy ”cuddle class” (also called the “sky couch”) and the proposed low cost carrier “sky rider”. While the “sky couch” appears to be quite comfortable and is now in commercial use, the “sky rider” appears about as comfortable as a saddle and allows you to lean, but not sit, in flight.  No carrier has adopted it yet, and it’s apparently not yet approved by the authorities. The recent Aircraft Interiors Expo in Hamburg debuted yet another idea, the Not for Wimps (NFW for short) seat, offered by UK manufacturers Contour Aerospace and Factorydesign. While at the concept stage, the premium seat, designed for long haul travel, provides an “intensive gaming experience”.  It is a curved seat with a Kevlar arm that provides a monitor, speakers and the most up to date gaming equipment, although it also includes a docking station so that one could also bring their own gadgets. It’s not for everyone, hence the name. Another seat includes an integrated iPad on the seat back. That’s not as far-fetched as it seems, since the pads have been showing up in airline lounges already. No idea should be dismissed out of hand. Remember initially airline seats were made of wicker!

Air New Zealand’s Been Busy

Air New Zealand seems to be very creative these days, not only with “cuddle class” but with a variety of inflight announcements that have made the news and become the darlings of online social media. They recently did a “Like Totally 80’s Photo Contest” on Facebook contest in the USA to find the American with the best 80’s attire. Think shoulder pads and parachute pants. The best (worst?) entry won a trip to New Zealand and runners-up would get some 80’s paraphernalia including a case of Tab® soda. Check the “Air New Zealand – USA” Facebook page for some of the photos submitted. More outlandish, however, were their safety videos. One was a humor-laced video of a rugby team doing the narrow body Airbus A320 and Boeing 737announcement and included a split second shot of Betty, the streaking granny.  See it here; the granny scene has been made suitable for all audiences; after all it’s shown on the plane!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9f1awn9vBZE&feature=relmfu

Another version featured 80’s exercise icon Richard Simmons that included cameos of the airline’s CEO, Rob Fyfe and Phil  Keoghan of “The Amazing Race”. It’s been viewed nearly 3 million times already, and that doesn’t include the passengers that pay attention far more than on other airlines, at least for the entertainment value! Based on the comments posted online, responses range from loving it to gagging. Watch it and decide for yourself:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3iaTEgoezNQ

And then there’s the controversial Air New Zealand social media “Rico” spots. Rico is the king of double entendres. Go to Youtube.com and enter the search terms “Air New Zealand” + “Rico” and be warned: parental discretion advised.

Free daily airline news: CLICK HERE

Visit our new Airliners Gallery photo library website: CLICK HERE